Blog

Empathy in Mediation Is a Skill You Can Develop

Ask a room of lawyers which of them is empathetic and watch what happens. A few hands go up slowly. Most people look at the table. Underneath that is an assumption that empathy came issued at birth, and if you didn't get any, you facilitate paperwork and hope nobody...

Mediators Need Muscle Memory

Years ago, a client of mine was a Navy SEAL Commander. He was kind enough to permit me to bring a group of Boy Scouts I led to the Navy SEAL Training Center in Coronado. The kids were mesmerized. He showed us where the SEALs train, and where they suffer. We went to...

Don’t Panic: How to Stay Calm During Divorce Mediation by Trusting the Process

Fans of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy know that the guide offers one essential piece of advice in large, friendly letters: Don’t Panic. This is especially important when you’re wondering how to stay calm during divorce mediation. It is good advice for travelers...
How can I prepare for a divorce?

The main thing to do is to gather information.  Copy documents; all the financial and legal documents you can find, such as:  deeds, bank statements, credit card statements, income tax returns, corporate documents if there is a business, back for at leat 5 years, if...

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What if I want a divorce and my spouse doesn’t?

No Fault Divorce California is a no fault divorce state.  Neither spouse has to prove that the other one is a bad guy.  You check a box on the Petition, either "Irreconcilible Differences" or "Incurable Insanity".  This gives the court the grounds to grant the...

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Be careful about what you allege in divorce court!

In a divorce case, there can be a real temptation to let the Divorce Court know just exactly how terrible you think the other party is. That can backfire, however, if you are not careful. For instance, I had a trial once in divorce court where my client testified to...

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Making sense of California’s Time Rule to Divide Pensions.

When dividing the community property interest in a defined benefit plan, the Court most often uses the so-called “Time Rule” or “Brown Formula”. Many clients (and a lot more attorneys than you would think) have a difficult time understanding how the formula works. Here’s a quick primer.

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