Tomorrow would have been my father’s ninety-seventh birthday. He was born on February 25, 1929. My mother was born on March 1, 1935, and she would have turned ninety-one this Sunday. Their birthdays always came close together.

My parents met as students at the Cincinnati Art Academy. Our house was always full of art. Paintings lined the walls, sculptures crowded the shelves, and the whole place felt more like a working studio than a typical home.

They both lived long, meaningful lives, and both passed away in 2021.

One of my mother’s paintings shows ‘Big Red,’ the red lighthouse in Holland, Michigan, where we spent family vacations when I was a kid. That painting hung inside our house for years. Now it hangs in my office, and a photo of that same lighthouse is the image on my website’s homepage. For me, the lighthouse has come to stand for the steady light I try to bring to conflict work and to teaching mediation.

Growing up, I watched my parents teach. My father served as dean of the Herron School of Art at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis (IUPUI) and taught for decades. My mother taught children and adults in our home studio.

The Teaching Method I Grew Up Watching

Watching their classes, I noticed a pattern that influenced how I think about learning.

A student might be struggling with a drawing, trying to fix the proportions or get the shading right. Sooner or later, one of my parents would take the pencil and make a few marks right on the student’s paper, showing how to do it.

When they did this to me as a kid, I didn’t like it. I pushed back.

“Why are you drawing on my artwork?” I would ask.

They would explain why they took the pencil, and how showing a technique right on the paper made it easier to see. Then they’d hand the pencil back and have me try again, offering feedback as I worked. Sometimes they’d step in for a moment, but the work always came back to me.

That way of teaching shaped how I think about learning, and it sits at the center of how I think mediation training methods should work.

How These Mediation Training Methods Work in Practice

I use that same approach in the 40-hour Divorce Mediation Training.

Practice First, Then Feedback

Participants run mock sessions, work through structured breakouts, and deal with real-time challenges. If a conversation drifts or a technique doesn’t land, we give feedback right away. Sometimes we’ll step in, demonstrate a phrase, or show how to keep the process on course when the pressure is on.

After we show how it’s done, the participant picks up where they left off and tries again. The more they practice, the more natural the technique feels.

Real mediation sessions move fast, and the stakes are real because people react in ways you can’t script. Understanding the concepts is important, but real skill comes from guided practice with someone experienced, watching closely and stepping in when it helps.

Why Repetition Matters in Mediation Training

Mock sessions are fundamental to this training. Participants do the work, while we stay close enough to watch and step in when it helps the learning. Repetition builds muscle memory so structure begins to feel familiar and pacing steadies with practice.

That’s the standard we aim for. It’s the same approach my parents used when they handed the pencil back to me, and their way of teaching lives on in how I teach now.