Dividing the Stuff: Dividing Personal Property in a Divorce Without Losing Your Cool

Dividing the Stuff: Dividing Personal Property in a Divorce Without Losing Your Cool

by | Dec 1, 2025 | Family & Divorce Mediation

For many people, dividing personal property in divorce ends up being harder than dividing money.

It surprises them.

The house, the retirement accounts, even support can feel abstract. The furniture, dishes, artwork, photos, and small personal items are not. Those things lived with you. They witnessed the relationship. They carry stories. The house is the marriage museum.

I have seen couples who resolved complex financial issues fairly quickly, only to grind to a halt over pots and pans, the washer and dryer, or a box of knick-knacks collected over years of shared life. Often the items themselves are not especially valuable. What they represent is.

A piece of artwork recalls a trip taken when things were still good. The silver marks a milestone anniversary. A small figurine was a gift from a child. By the time people reach this stage of divorce, they are already emotionally spent. Dividing personal property can reopen grief in a very tangible way.

Below are some practical guidelines that consistently help people move through this part of the process with less conflict and less expense.

Start with realistic values

When dividing personal property in a divorce, courts generally value household items at garage sale value. That is a useful reality check.

Unless you own rare artwork, high-end antiques, or something truly unique, most household items have limited resale value. Emotional meaning can quietly inflate perceived worth, which makes agreement harder. When in doubt, ask a simple question: what would a neutral third party realistically pay for this item used?

Keeping values grounded helps keep conversations grounded.

Handle most items without lawyers

It rarely makes sense to involve attorneys in deciding who gets the couch, the coffee maker, or the bath mat. Legal fees add up quickly, and disputes over dividing personal property in a divorce can consume time and money out of proportion to their importance.

For high-value or unusual items, professional guidance can be appropriate. For most household property, people are better served handling it directly or with the help of a mediator or coach.

Create an inventory before dividing anything

Before decisions are made, it helps to know what actually exists.  In other words, it helps to define the pie before dividing the pie.

Some people prefer a written list. Others find it easier to walk through the home with a phone or camera and record each room. That record can then be used to create a list later. The method matters less than having a shared reference point.

When dividing personal property in a divorce, an inventory reduces suspicion and keeps the process organized.

Use a simple sorting system

One approach that works well for dividing personal property in a divorce is to sort items into clear categories:

  • Items one person will keep
  • Items the other person will keep
  • Items to sell and divide the proceeds
  • Items to donate or discard

Notice what is missing. There is no category for items people cannot agree on.

When agreement is impossible, selling or donating the item is often the cleanest solution. Another option is taking turns choosing disputed items until they are gone. For highly sentimental objects, some couples choose to pass them on to their children.

The goal is progress, not perfect fairness.

Make a plan for photos and videos

Photographs and videos deserve special care.

I often recommend setting a date when both people will make photos and videos from the marriage available to each other. Each person can then choose what they want duplicated. With current technology, scanning and digital copying are relatively easy and affordable. Sharing duplication costs evenly tends to feel fair.

This approach allows both people to preserve memories without turning them into bargaining chips.

Understand how the law treats pets

Many people are surprised to learn that, legally, pets are considered property. Courts generally have limited patience for extended pet disputes and may order outcomes that satisfy neither person.

Because of that reality, it is usually far better for people to work out pet arrangements themselves. Focus on the animal’s needs and daily life rather than ownership language. Doing so often leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.

Take extra care when safety is an issue

In cases involving domestic violence or restraining orders, dividing personal property requires additional planning.

Direct contact may not be appropriate or allowed. Attorneys, mediators, or agreed-upon third parties can help coordinate inventories and exchanges. Legal orders must be respected, even when emotions are high or items feel urgent.

Dividing personal property in a divorce isn’t worth compromising safety or violating court orders.

See the opportunity in the process

Many people eventually describe dividing personal property in a divorce as unexpectedly clarifying.

Letting go of objects tied to an old chapter can create space for something new. When the process is handled thoughtfully, it can feel less like a loss and more like a transition.

If the emotional weight becomes overwhelming, a divorce coach or neutral professional can provide support at a fraction of the cost of extended legal conflict.

Dividing personal property does not have to become another battleground. With patience, structure, and realistic expectations, most couples can move through it with minimal professional intervention.

At the end of the day, these are things. How you handle them will shape how much conflict you carry forward.ips to divide personal property, san diego divorce, san diego divorce attorney, Shawn Weber, san diego divorce mediator

California’s New Joint Petition: A Game Changer for Divorcing with Respect

California’s New Joint Petition: A Game Changer for Divorcing with Respect

by | Nov 4, 2025 | Family & Divorce Mediation, Professional Practice & Training

Picture this: John and Lisa walk into the courthouse for the first time with nerves jangling. They hope to end their marriage without it becoming a war. They want to keep things civil, maybe even friendly, for the sake of their family. Starting January 1, 2026, California couples like John and Lisa get a new tool in the toolbox: the Joint Petition. For those of us in mediation or collaborative law, this is a game changer. It’s a big step toward what we’ve always wanted, helping families split up without tearing each other apart. This new process is right in line with what we do every day: keeping things peaceful and focused on the people, not the fight.

Let’s be honest: every divorce in California starts as a lawsuit. The very first page of the standard Petition (FL-100) hits you with a summons that says, “You are being sued.” It’s even repeated in two languages. That kind of language might make sense if you’re gearing up for a fight, but it’s always felt out of place for those of us who believe in mediation or Collaborative Divorce. Finally, with the new joint petition, we get a form that actually fits the way we want to help families, cooperatively.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean the end of courtroom battles. If you want to fight it out, the old Petition and Response are still there, with all the usual drama. But for couples who’d rather skip the mudslinging, the joint petition takes away that first unnecessary punch. It lets you start the process together, not as enemies.

A Quick Primer on the New Law for California Joint Divorce Petitions

This change comes from SB 1427, which authorized the Judicial Council to create a joint filing process for dissolution and legal separation. The new procedure for joint petitions, implemented through the Judicial Council’s new FL-700 form, becomes available for use on January 1, 2026. The revisions to the California Family Code can be found in section 2320 and related provisions.

The key points:

  • The spouses file a joint petition (FL-700) if they agree to do so.
  • Both parties sign the same form.
  • There will be a new summons (FL-710) with no “service of process” and no adversarial caption. However, the Standard Family Law Restraining Orders still apply just like any other divorce filing. These orders automatically kick in to protect both parties by maintaining the status quo and ensuring peace during divorce proceedings, regardless of the filing method.
  • Both spouses make a general appearance by signing, which means the court has jurisdiction over both parties from the start.
  • The same 6-month waiting period still applies.

Why This Matters for Couples and Professionals

For families, this new form changes everything. It sets the right tone from the start, one of cooperation and respect. Now, instead of one spouse having to “sue” the other, you can file together. It’s a small shift in paperwork but a major change in energy. The joint petition says, “We’re doing this together.” That’s a big deal.

For mediators and collaborative professionals, this is a breath of fresh air. We can help clients complete one shared petition and move forward as co-petitioners. It’s a more human way to begin a hard process.

What to Know Before You File the California Joint Divorce Petition

Like any new system, the joint petition has some details to understand before jumping in:

  • General Appearance
    When both spouses sign the FL-700, they’re telling the court, “We’re here, and you have power over us.” You can’t later say, “Wait, I wasn’t served properly.” Be sure both understand that before signing.
  • Independent Advice
    Each spouse should have the chance to talk with an attorney before signing. Even in mediation, independent legal advice is important.
  • If Cooperation Fails
    If things change and one person wants to back out, either spouse can file a Notice of Revocation of Joint Petition (FL-720). From that point on, the case moves forward like a traditional divorce. The revoking spouse must file a new Petition (FL-100) or Response (FL-120) the same day they revoke.
  • No Defaults
    There’s no such thing as a default in a joint petition because the parties each are making a joint appearance when they file. Both must sign off on any amendments. If one person stops cooperating, progress can stall.
  • Court Transition Period
    Courts will need time to adjust. Expect a few hiccups as clerks and e-filing systems catch up early in 2026.

When Cooperation Breaks Down: Revoking a California Joint Divorce Petition

As with any cooperative process, it does not always stay that way. Not every joint filing stays joint. The new system anticipates that a previously non-adversarial case may later become adversarial. For that, the Judicial Council created Form FL-720 (Notice of Revocation of Joint Petition).

Here’s how it works:

  • Either party may revoke the joint petition at any time before the judgment is entered.
  • The filing spouse must serve the other with the FL-720 and then file it with the court.
  • Once filed, the joint petition is terminated. It does not simply pause or convert.
  • The form itself explains that Petitioner 1 becomes the Petitioner and Petitioner 2 becomes the Respondent.

That’s where things get interesting. The FL-720 directs that a new Petition (FL-100) or Response (FL-120) must be filed at the same time as the revocation. Whoever files the FL-720 is, by default, starting or continuing the action as the Petitioner. The other party has 30 days after service of the revocation to file their corresponding pleading.

Here’s a quirky twist: if Petitioner 2 files the revocation, the first thing the court sees might be a Response instead of a Petition. The law doesn’t say you can’t do it, but it flips the usual order on its head. We’ll see how court staff handle this one.

If you or your spouse plan to revoke, file both the FL-720 and the proper initiating pleading on the same day, and carefully track the 30-day response period. If you receive a Notice of Revocation of Joint Petition, remember you have 30 days to respond.

A Step Toward a Less Adversarial System

This is a big step toward changing the culture of divorce in California. The California joint petition acknowledges what many of us have long known: not every divorce fits neatly into the “plaintiff versus defendant” box. For couples who want to stay out of the mud, this form opens a cleaner, kinder path, and gives families a better way to begin.

Of course, it’s still important to get sound legal and financial advice before signing anything. But all things considered, it’s a win for couples who want to stay out of the courtroom crossfire. 

african american woman working on her California joint divorce petition

Ready to move forward with respect?

Let’s talk about how the new California Joint Divorce Petition can help you divorce peacefully.

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California Premarital Agreements: Understanding Disclosure

California Premarital Agreements: Understanding Disclosure

by | Jul 15, 2024 | Uncategorized

Hey there! Let’s take a deep dive into the world of premarital agreements in California, specifically focusing on the crucial aspect of disclosure. Whether you’re thinking about getting a prenup or just curious about how they work, this is a vital topic to understand.

The Importance of Disclosure in California Premarital Agreements

When it comes to California premarital agreements, one of the most significant issues that can make them unenforceable is incomplete disclosure. However, avoiding this problem is relatively straightforward if you know what to do.

Under California law, specifically Family Code §1615, a California premarital agreement can be challenged if both of the following are true:

  1. There was a failure to disclose.
  2. The agreement was unconscionable (super unfair) when it was made.

The key here is that both conditions must be met for a court to set aside a premarital agreement. This means that even if there was incomplete disclosure, the agreement won’t automatically be invalidated unless it was also unconscionable at the time it was made. This is a crucial point to understand because it underscores the importance of both fairness and transparency in these agreements.

What Should Be Disclosed?

When drafting a California premarital agreement, it’s essential to fully disclose your assets and obligations. This includes detailing what you own (assets) and what you owe (liabilities). Full disclosure helps to ensure that the agreement is fair and that both parties are entering into it with their eyes wide open.

Alternatively, you can include a clear waiver in the agreement where both parties acknowledge and agree that they don’t require full disclosure from each other. This waiver must be voluntary and explicitly stated in writing. It’s not enough to verbally agree to waive disclosure; it has to be in the agreement itself to be legally binding.

The Role of Case Law: In re Marriage of Bonds

The case of In re Marriage of Bonds (2000) 24 Cal.4th 1, 99 Cal.Rptr.2d 252, 5 P.3d 815 is an interesting one because it highlights the flexibility in disclosure requirements. In this case, the California Supreme Court held that the disclosure need not be as stringent as for marital settlement agreements. The court upheld a California premarital agreement even though it didn’t include a detailed asset schedule, as long as the parties had a general understanding of each other’s property.

However, while this case shows that courts can be lenient, it’s still safer to be as thorough as possible with your disclosures. After all, the more complete your disclosure, the less room there is for challenges down the road.

Why Income Disclosure Matters in California Prenuptial Agreements

Income disclosure is another critical aspect. Although there’s some debate among courts, including a case where a trial court invalidated a California prenuptial agreement because the wealthier party didn’t disclose their income, the safest route is to be thorough. Disclosing income from all sources can prevent future disputes and ensure that the agreement stands up in court.

How to Make Your Agreement Bulletproof

To minimize the chances of your California prenuptial agreement being challenged:

  1. Fully Disclose Everything: This means assets, liabilities, and income. The more transparent you are, the better.
  2. Waive Disclosure Explicitly: If you’re not going to disclose fully, make sure your agreement includes a clear, written waiver where both parties acknowledge their right to full disclosure and voluntarily waive it.
  3. Offer Financial Records: Offer to make your financial records available to your partner. This shows good faith and can be a critical factor if the agreement is ever challenged in court.

Practical Steps to Full Disclosure

Here are some practical steps to ensure full disclosure in your premarital agreement:

  1. List All Assets: Include real estate, bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, valuable personal property (like jewelry or art), and any other significant assets.
  2. Detail Liabilities: Include mortgages, car loans, student loans, credit card debt, and any other significant obligations.
  3. Income Sources: List all sources of income, including salaries, bonuses, rental income, dividends, and any other income streams.
  4. Valuation: While the law doesn’t require you to disclose the exact value of each asset, providing a reasonable estimate can be beneficial. This shows transparency and can help prevent disputes.
  5. Supporting Documents: Attach supporting documents to your disclosure. This could include bank statements, property appraisals, loan documents, and tax returns.

The Role of Waivers in Disclosure

As mentioned earlier, it’s possible to waive full disclosure, but this needs to be done carefully. The waiver must be:

  1. Voluntary: Both parties must agree to it willingly.
  2. Explicit: The waiver must be clearly stated in the agreement.
  3. In Writing: Verbal agreements won’t cut it; it must be documented in writing.

Waiving full disclosure can streamline the process, but it comes with risks. If the waiver isn’t clear or one party later claims they didn’t understand what they were waiving, the agreement could be challenged. Therefore, if you choose to include a waiver, make sure it’s detailed and both parties fully understand what they’re agreeing to.

The Impact of Case Law on California Premarital Agreements

Several cases have shaped the way courts view disclosure in premarital agreements. For instance, In re Marriage of Facter (2013) 212 Cal.App.4th 967, 985, 152 Cal.Rptr.3d 79 highlights that both failure of disclosure and unconscionability are needed to invalidate an agreement. Meanwhile, In re Marriage of Bonds (2000) 24 Cal.4th 1 and In re Marriage of Burkle (2006) 139 Cal.App.4th 712, 43 Cal.Rptr.3d 181 provide examples of how courts handle these issues in practice.

Understanding these cases can help you see the importance of thorough disclosure and the potential pitfalls of inadequate disclosure. It also underscores why it’s crucial to work with a knowledgeable attorney when drafting your California prenuptial agreement.

The Benefits of Full Disclosure

Besides legal compliance, full disclosure has several practical benefits:

  1. Transparency and Trust: Full disclosure fosters trust between partners. It shows that both parties are entering the marriage with a clear understanding of each other’s financial situation.
  2. Preventing Disputes: Thorough disclosure can prevent disputes down the road. When both parties know what they’re getting into, there are fewer surprises and less potential for conflict.
  3. Enforceability: An agreement with full disclosure is much more likely to be enforceable. Courts are less likely to set aside an agreement if it’s clear that both parties were fully informed.

Addressing Potential Challenges

Even with full disclosure, California premarital agreements can be challenged. Here are some common grounds for challenges and how to address them:

  1. Voluntariness: One party claims they were coerced into signing. To counter this, ensure the agreement is signed well in advance of the wedding and both parties have independent legal advice.
  2. Unconscionability: One party claims the agreement is grossly unfair. To prevent this, ensure the agreement is balanced and fair to both parties.
  3. Disclosure: One party claims they weren’t fully informed. This is where thorough, documented disclosure comes in. Keep detailed records of all disclosed information and any waivers.

Having independent legal counsel for both parties is crucial. This ensures that both parties fully understand the agreement and their rights. It also helps to prevent claims of coercion or misunderstanding later on. Each party should have their own attorney to review the agreement and provide advice.

Documenting the Process

Documenting the process of creating the California premarital agreement is also important. This includes keeping records of all disclosed information, communications between the parties, and any legal advice received. This documentation can be invaluable if the agreement is ever challenged.

The Bottom Line

California prenuptial agreements can provide valuable protection for both parties, but only if they’re done right. Full disclosure is a critical part of this process. By being transparent and thorough, you can create an agreement that stands up in court and protects your interests.

If you’re considering a premarital agreement, take the time to understand the requirements and work with a professional who can guide you through the process. It’s an investment that can provide peace of mind and protect your future.

Conclusion

Understanding the importance of disclosure in California premarital agreements is essential for anyone considering this legal arrangement in California. By fully disclosing your assets, liabilities, and income—or clearly waiving the right to such disclosure—you can create a strong, enforceable agreement. Remember, the goal is to enter your marriage with trust and transparency, laying a solid foundation for your future together.

If you need assistance with your California premarital agreement, don’t hesitate to reach out to a knowledgeable professional who can help you navigate this complex area of law.

Read More About California Premarital Agreements

The California Prenuptial Agreement — Dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s”.
Prenuptial Agreements Are on the Rise, And More Women Are Requesting Them
Family Law Agreements
New Year After Divorce: Your Personal Resolutions

New Year After Divorce: Your Personal Resolutions

by | Dec 20, 2023 | Uncategorized

Alas! A New Year has come and gone again. For most of my current clients, 2023 was a rough year. It brought them the end of their marriages. Although the year may have been filled with conflict with a former spouse over money, kids, etc., you are ready to move on. Perhaps there were tears shed. Maybe dreams were shattered. Sound depressing? It can be. But 2023 is over, so there is an opportunity to build a new experience for the New Year post divorce.

Here are my suggestions for some words to consider when making your resolutions for the New Year post divorce. This is in no way a comprehensive list. It’s just some of my own thoughts. Perhaps you have your own resolution ideas that you would like to share. Here are mine:

Peace in the New Year After Divorce.

You got a divorce for a reason, right? I’m sure things weren’t all butterflies and rainbows. But now you are divorced. So take the opportunity to stop the fighting and discontinue the war with your ex. If there is a legitimate legal concern that needs addressing, use mediation or Collaborative Practice instead of adversarial litigation to resolve those differences. It’s a great opportunity to move on and find peace in the New Year post divorce. A meditation or mindfulness practice can go a long way towards achieving some peace.

Co-Parenting in the New Year After Divorce.

Before your divorce, parenting may have been easier. Post-divorce, you still have to interact with the person you divorced to raise your kids. Your kids need you to get along. There is a lot of evidence that continued parental conflict after the divorce is very harmful to children. Resolve now to be the best co-parent you can be in the New Year post divorce. Look for ways to be cooperative (even when the other parent doesn’t). If you haven’t always been a leader in the child rearing arena, now is the time to step up to the plate and make a helpful contribution. Be the grown up here and your kids will thank you.

Self-reliance in the New Year After Divorce.

Now that you are on your own, you don’t have the other person there to rely on. This is a great opportunity to stand on your own two feet with your head held high. Be your own person. Be strong. Be self-assured. Be independent.

If you are receiving alimony, look for ways to be self-supporting so that you don’t need support anymore. Meet with a vocational counselor to make new career goals. Enroll in school or get trained, or retrained, in a field that you can be passionate about.

Plan for your future financial well-being. So, meet with a financial advisor to make sure you are using your money wisely. Come up with a five year or ten-year plan. Then, check in with an estate planning attorney to make sure you have updated your will and estate plan, as you’ll want to make sure that anything you name in this document goes to the trustee of your choice.

Health in the New Year After Divorce.

Perhaps during 2023 you let the stress of the divorce affect your health. Maybe you didn’t eat well. Perhaps you stopped going to the gym. Or maybe you weren’t sleeping well. Perhaps you were depressed or angry causing your emotional well-being to suffer. Resolve now to restore your health in the New Year post divorce.

Take the time to eat well and exercise. Get good sleep. What’s more, get your annual physical from your doctor and make a plan for your physical health. Take care of your body and it will take care of you.

But don’t forget your emotional health either. Divorce can be such a toxic and painful experience. If you are struggling, meet with a therapist and work through the changes in your life resulting from your divorce. Before you date, make sure that you work though any lingering issues you may have so that you can be your best self before you involve another person in your life. I have noticed a clear correlation in my clients who sought post-divorce therapy and their level of happiness years later.

Forgiveness in the New Year After Divorce.

I know that “forgiveness” is a loaded word. It’s easier said then done. You may feel hurt or anger toward your former spouse. As mentioned before, you’ve lived through the whole process of finding a family lawyer, dealing with the stress of separation, and still taking care of the kids. You chose to divorce for a reason. And yes, consequently, you are divorced now. It’s time to let it go. The past is in the past.

Now keep in mind, I am not suggesting you allow more abuse if that is what happened before. Keep in place whatever safety measure you have to prevent others from hurting you again. I am just suggesting it is time to move on from there. Anger and hurt can be very damaging emotions. Do what you can this year to forgive so that you can leave those terrible feelings behind you. If you find you can’t do it alone (and most can’t) talk to someone. Turn to a spiritual advisor or a mentor to help you leave the past in the past.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself. Guilt has it’s place, but it can eat you up if you can’t get past it. Perhaps you have serious regrets about how your marriage ended. Rather than let the guilt consume you, find a way to learn from the experience, forgive everyone involved and move on.

You have read my list of New Year’s Resolution words for the newly divorced. What are some of your words? I would love to read them!

Related links:

10 Essential New Year’s Resolutions for Your Divorce

12 New Year’s Resolutions for Divorced Moms

Top 10 Difficult New Year’s Resolutions for Divorced Parents

N

More Reading:

Forgiveness During Divorce: A Key to Finding Peace

Divorce Custom: 7 Post-Split Rituals from Around the World

ew Year’s resolutions, new year post divorce, new year’s divorce, san diego divorce attorney

 

New Year After Divorce: Your Personal Resolutions

New Year After Divorce: Your Personal Resolutions

by | Dec 20, 2023 | Uncategorized

Alas! A New Year has come and gone again. For most of my current clients, 2023 was a rough year. It brought them the end of their marriages. Although the year may have been filled with conflict with a former spouse over money, kids, etc., you are ready to move on. Perhaps there were tears shed. Maybe dreams were shattered. Sound depressing? It can be. But 2023 is over, so there is an opportunity to build a new experience for the New Year post divorce.

Here are my suggestions for some words to consider when making your resolutions for the New Year post divorce. This is in no way a comprehensive list. It’s just some of my own thoughts. Perhaps you have your own resolution ideas that you would like to share. Here are mine:

Peace in the New Year After Divorce.

You got a divorce for a reason, right? I’m sure things weren’t all butterflies and rainbows. But now you are divorced. So take the opportunity to stop the fighting and discontinue the war with your ex. If there is a legitimate legal concern that needs addressing, use mediation or Collaborative Practice instead of adversarial litigation to resolve those differences. It’s a great opportunity to move on and find peace in the New Year post divorce. A meditation or mindfulness practice can go a long way towards achieving some peace.

Co-Parenting in the New Year After Divorce.

Before your divorce, parenting may have been easier. Post-divorce, you still have to interact with the person you divorced to raise your kids. Your kids need you to get along. There is a lot of evidence that continued parental conflict after the divorce is very harmful to children. Resolve now to be the best co-parent you can be in the New Year post divorce. Look for ways to be cooperative (even when the other parent doesn’t). If you haven’t always been a leader in the child rearing arena, now is the time to step up to the plate and make a helpful contribution. Be the grown up here and your kids will thank you.

Self-reliance in the New Year After Divorce.

Now that you are on your own, you don’t have the other person there to rely on. This is a great opportunity to stand on your own two feet with your head held high. Be your own person. Be strong. Be self-assured. Be independent.

If you are receiving alimony, look for ways to be self-supporting so that you don’t need support anymore. Meet with a vocational counselor to make new career goals. Enroll in school or get trained, or retrained, in a field that you can be passionate about.

Plan for your future financial well-being. So, meet with a financial advisor to make sure you are using your money wisely. Come up with a five year or ten-year plan. Then, check in with an estate planning attorney to make sure you have updated your will and estate plan, as you’ll want to make sure that anything you name in this document goes to the trustee of your choice.

Health in the New Year After Divorce.

Perhaps during 2023 you let the stress of the divorce affect your health. Maybe you didn’t eat well. Perhaps you stopped going to the gym. Or maybe you weren’t sleeping well. Perhaps you were depressed or angry causing your emotional well-being to suffer. Resolve now to restore your health in the New Year post divorce.

Take the time to eat well and exercise. Get good sleep. What’s more, get your annual physical from your doctor and make a plan for your physical health. Take care of your body and it will take care of you.

But don’t forget your emotional health either. Divorce can be such a toxic and painful experience. If you are struggling, meet with a therapist and work through the changes in your life resulting from your divorce. Before you date, make sure that you work though any lingering issues you may have so that you can be your best self before you involve another person in your life. I have noticed a clear correlation in my clients who sought post-divorce therapy and their level of happiness years later.

Forgiveness in the New Year After Divorce.

I know that “forgiveness” is a loaded word. It’s easier said then done. You may feel hurt or anger toward your former spouse. As mentioned before, you’ve lived through the whole process of finding a family lawyer, dealing with the stress of separation, and still taking care of the kids. You chose to divorce for a reason. And yes, consequently, you are divorced now. It’s time to let it go. The past is in the past.

Now keep in mind, I am not suggesting you allow more abuse if that is what happened before. Keep in place whatever safety measure you have to prevent others from hurting you again. I am just suggesting it is time to move on from there. Anger and hurt can be very damaging emotions. Do what you can this year to forgive so that you can leave those terrible feelings behind you. If you find you can’t do it alone (and most can’t) talk to someone. Turn to a spiritual advisor or a mentor to help you leave the past in the past.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself. Guilt has it’s place, but it can eat you up if you can’t get past it. Perhaps you have serious regrets about how your marriage ended. Rather than let the guilt consume you, find a way to learn from the experience, forgive everyone involved and move on.

You have read my list of New Year’s Resolution words for the newly divorced. What are some of your words? I would love to read them!

Related links:

10 Essential New Year’s Resolutions for Your Divorce

12 New Year’s Resolutions for Divorced Moms

Top 10 Difficult New Year’s Resolutions for Divorced Parents

N

More Reading:

Forgiveness During Divorce: A Key to Finding Peace

Divorce Custom: 7 Post-Split Rituals from Around the World

ew Year’s resolutions, new year post divorce, new year’s divorce, san diego divorce attorney