by Shawn Weber, JD, CLS-F | Aug 8, 2019 | Uncategorized
Can you believe it’s back to school time already? Divorced parents need to make some specific preparations for a successful school year. Photo Wokandpix/Creative Commons License
Can you believe it’s already time for 60 million American kids to go back to school? Didn’t we just start summer?
Mixed feelings are natural at this time of year for everyone. Kids are sad about summer being over so quickly. But they are likely to be excited and happy to see friends and get involved in favorite activities like athletics, music, or robotics.
But if you are a divorced parent navigating co-parenting, back to school is a little more complicated. Who pays for what? What activities will the child get to be involved in? Who does the school call if there is a problem? Who gets to chaperone the field trip? What school will your child will attend, near Dad’s house or Mom’s house?
The phone starts ringing at Weber Dispute Resolution at this time of year. Parents having trouble solving these issues come to us for help mediating their conflicts. We are glad they do, instead of taking their problems to court. If you need the same help for yourself or your clients, we hope to hear from you.
We offer these tips to help you start working through problems and considering your options.
Get on the same page about routines.
Get on the same page about school routines. Photo: Luci/Creative Commons License
Don’t make school any more complicated than necessary. Kids do better if you and your co-parent agree on routines, and so will you. Meet before school starts without the kids in a neutral location to discuss the routine details first. Some areas for discussion:
- Emergency contacts and emergency procedures
- Instructions about academics and schoolwork
- Disciplinary issues
- Transportation and pick-up
- After-school activities
Once you agree, write it all down and share the plan with your children.
Deal with school expenses up front.
Custodial parents usually find themselves paying up front for back-to-school wardrobes and school supplies and then ask for half of the expenses. But even when parents agree to split the cost, sometimes one parent has very different ideas about how much to spend on things like clothes. Set a budget up front you can both live with. Keep copies of the receipts so you have a record of what you’re owed.
Share school supplies information.
You may be the parent in charge of school shopping, but your ex might want to be involved. Let’s say your kid is in their last year of high school and wants to buy some gifts for their classmates to keep as memories of their time together. They might come to either of you to request the purchase. However, keeping the other one involved – whether you’re going to a store to buy keepsakes or heading online to Jostens or similar stores for the same – might be in your best interest so as to avoid any conflicts. If you do decide to go alone, make sure both of you have talked in advance about what Jim or Jane get to give their friends as a memorable keepsake. Purchases like this on a whim rarely end up without an argument and upset parents and kids.
Figure out what extra-curricular activities will be added – and paid for.
Are your kids into sports? Drama? Robotics? After school activities take time and money. Be sure you agree which parent is contributing both. Photo: KeithJJ/Creative Commons
Outside of the classroom, many kids want to participate in sports, music, drama, debate, student government, robotics or other science competitions. These activities can build valuable skills and develop passions your kids may follow into careers. But they also put a strain on your schedule and your budget. When time and money aren’t unlimited, you and your co-parent have to decide up front what’s realistic for your child and what’s not. Who is going to provide the transportation, and pay the fees?
Coordinate everyone’s calendars.
There are going to be lots of events when school starts: sports and music practices, meets, science fairs, concerts, etc. And you think your workday is busy! Coordinate the school calendar with your parenting schedule. You want to make sure your child is able to attend important events. Have calendars in each house, one in your child’s backpack and give one to teachers or coaches to show which parent he will be with.
Negotiate attendance at school events.
Agree in advance to be courteous to one another at school events so you can attend at the same time. You can suck it up for the hour it takes every few months. If this is really, truly not possible, arrange to attend on different nights or at different times.
Meet the new teacher.
Meet your child’s teacher and stay in communication. Photo: Kevin Lopez/Creative Commons License
Divorced or not, it is always good to meet with your child’s new teacher. Let her or him know your child comes from a divorced home or a shared custody home. Children of divorce and separation often act out at school, have emotional moments, or just a bad day. Your child’s teacher should know what’s going on. But keep teachers and school personnel out of any conflicts between you and your former spouse.
Share information about your child’s education and progress.
Don’t play games or create obstacles for the noncustodial parent to get information. Unless you have a protective order, give permission to the children’s teachers, counselors, and medical professionals to share school information with both parents.
Arrange for duplicate notifications.
Information should be shared with both parents. It can be useful to arrange for separate, duplicate notifications about academic progress and school activities so one parent is not responsible for copying and sending information to the other, including anything like schoolwork or forms your child brings home; Do NOT make your child the responsible party.
A written record can help keep legal issues straight and problems from escalating. If you have a contentious relationship with your co-parent, why fan the flames at all? Arrange up front for a neutral third party like a mediator to be the point of mutual contact between you to ensure civility and cooperation.
Remember who school is for. It’s not a battleground to establish who is the better parent.
Remember, school is for your kids – not a battleground for you and your ex. Photo: Ernesto Silva/Creative Commons License
It’s great for you to be involved with your children, but don’t get into a competition with your former spouse. Your child is still dealing with your divorce no matter how long ago it happened while juggling the demands of school. Let school be your kid’s refuge, a place for him or her to have fun, learn, achieve and excel, and forget about difficult family issues.
No matter what, you can’t go wrong making a decision if you stop and ask yourself this: what’s in the best interest of my child? You get an A-plus.
by Shawn Weber, JD, CLS-F | Feb 11, 2019 | Uncategorized
New Appellate Case: Anke v. Yeager
There is a new appellate which came down from the Second Appellate District of the California Court of Appeal on February 4, 2019. The case is Anka v. Yeager and can be found here https://law.justia.com/cases/california/court-of-appeal/2019/b281760.html.
You know it’s going to go badly for the attorney in the case when you read this in the opening paragraphs quoting the oath of admission required to practice law described in California Rules of Court, rule 9.7:
“These cautions are designed to remind counsel that when in the heat of a contentious trial, counsel’s zeal to protect and advance the interest of the client must be tempered by the professional and ethical constraints the legal profession demands. Unfortunately, that did not happen here.” [Emphasis added.]
Yikes!
Sanctions for revealing the contents of a custody evaluation in deposition questions
In Anka v. Yeager, an attorney asked a question during a deposition as part of a child custody dispute about the contents of a custody evaluation. The displeased trial court ordered $50,000 in sanctions against the attorney and party under Family Code sections 3025.5 and 3111. The trial court found that the attorney’s asking questions about the custody evaluation in the presence of the court reporter and videographer at the deposition constituted an unjustified, malicious and reckless disclosure of the contents of the custody evaluation.
When the sanctioned attorney appealed. She argued that the court reporter and videographer were “officers of the court” and were, therefore, exempt under 3025.5. However, the appellate court held the court reporter and videographer were not employees of the court and were therefore not exempt. The trial court did not abuse its discretion by imposing the sanctions on the attorney. The attorney by asking deposition questions referencing the custody evaluation disclosed highly personal information about the child and family. Moreover, disclosure in the form of questions in the presence of a court reporter was malicious and reckless. The court affirmed the sanction of $50,000 against the attorney but reversed the sanction against the attorney’s client.
Be careful about asking questions in a deposition about a custody evaluation!
So, what is the lesson here? In a custody cases, do not ask questions about the custody evaluation in a deposition without court clearance. If you screw this up, you may be paying a lot of money in sanctions and could even face discipline.
Big Change Coming in California Mediation Law in 2019 You Need to Know About
New Form Required by California Evidence Code § 1129
by Shawn Weber, JD, CLS-F | Nov 19, 2018 | Uncategorized
SMART parenting agreements can ensure happy holidays even when you’re divorced.
At Weber Dispute Resolution, we believe in crafting SMART agreements. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-Bound. SMART agreements help with enforcement, and make it clear to both parties what is required for them to stay within the boundaries of their agreement.
Here’s why a SMART agreement makes things so much easier:
- When an agreement isn’t SPECIFIC, parties become confused over exactly what they agreed on
- Unless performance can be MEASURED in some way, it is difficult to determine where the boundaries are, and when they’ve been broken.
- Any agreement must be ATTAINABLE – something you can easily comply with. People can’t be expected to do the impossible – it’s setting them up to fail.
- Agreements require RELEVANCE to make sense in any particular circumstance.
- Finally, linking the provisions to TIME-BOUND deadlines lets people know when things should happen.
So, unless your agreement is a SMART agreement, there is a good chance you will be facing problems down the road.
This is especially true when we are talking about holiday co-parenting. People can become emotional during the holiday season. It’s understandable and predictable. Holidays are all about family. Not having your children with you and with your extended family during the holidays can be hard to cope with.
Because people are so emotional about the holidays, parenting decisions about holiday traditions and practices can become a significant source of conflict. When I used to litigate family law cases in courtrooms, unfortunately for my clients, they paid me a good amount of money to sort out holiday schedules and last-minute misunderstandings.
With a SMART holiday co-parenting agreement, you can avoid big emotional blowouts AND writing big checks to lawyers. Here’s how.
SMART – Specific
When crafting holiday orders and agreements, make sure you are very specific about what the schedule is. Just saying that the
SMART agreements are specific. Photo: Antonio Litterio/Wikimedia
kids are with mom on Christmas in even-numbered years and Dad in odd-numbered years is a start. But it is not very specific. Get into the weeds about when exactly Christmas starts and ends. Where will the kids be delivered or picked-up. I have even seen people get specific about whether a joint present opening time would happen and how it would go. The more specific your agreement is, the less likely there will be misunderstandings.
Another example is with New Year’s Eve and Day. When talking about New Year’s Eve and Day and odd years versus even years, which year counts for odd or even? Is it New Years Eve, which falls in one year, or New Years Day, which falls in the following year? This kind of lack of specificity can lead to confusion.
A colleague of mine recalled a poll on a local list serve account for family law attorneys. She learned that when confronted with the question of which day, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day, counts for purposes of even and odd, roughly half of the respondents thought it was New Years Eve while the other half thought it was New Years Day. Get clear, and you can avoid trouble.
SMART agreements are timebound.
SMART – Measurable and Time-Bound
When talking about parenting schedules, measurable and time-bound tend to go together. It’s good practice to have a clear start and end time when describing holiday periods. A common provision is “The child shall spend Father’s Day with the father every year.” This is too vague.
Much better and a more effective provision: “The child shall be with father on Father’s Day every year from 8 a.m. the morning of the holiday until 8 a.m. the day after the holiday.”
SMART – Attainable
It seems like a no brainer an agreement or order should be attainable. But sometimes, people don’t realize a provision is unattainable. In a recent case, the court order described as written the children would be with Mom on Christmas Day at 10:00 a.m. and returned to Dad at 10:00 a.m. the next morning. However, the parties lived more than 3,000 miles apart! These parents could not possibly make this work from any practical standpoint.
In another case, the children were to alternate between mom’s house and dad’s house during the holidays for overnight visits in an even and odd patterned schedule. The problem? One of the parents was incarcerated.
So it’s important to avoid these kinds of attainability problems by making sure the agreement’s boilerplate language is customized to you and written to fit your unique circumstances.
SMART – Relevant
SMART agreements must be relevant to your circumstances.
Holiday co-parenting orders should be relevant to your situation. In one of my cases, Family Court Services made Christmas co-parenting recommendations. The parties only celebrated Jewish holidays. Clearly, something lost in translation was missed.
As practitioners, it’s tempting to fit people neatly into nice little boxes. But it makes little sense to force parents to observe a holiday schedule for holidays the parties don’t even celebrate. In another case, attorneys included a provision for Fourth of July. The parties didn’t celebrate Fourth of July and weren’t concerned about having the kids on Fourth of July.
The SMART Approach to Happy Holidays When You’re Divorced
Filling a holiday co-parenting agreement with irrelevant provisions does nothing but confuse things, and clutter up your case with unhelpful rules. To say nothing of having an agreement that falls into the “TL; DR” category (that’s Tool Long, Didn’t Read).
Your agreement should be meaningful, with SMART rules that make sense for you and your family alone. Work with someone who will listen to your needs and get you know you, your co-parent, and your kids, and create something that fits. You won’t be fighting against it and arguing about it, which doesn’t help anyone.
Want to clean up your holiday co-parenting schedule BEFORE the holidays get here? Would you like to avoid those frantic last minute calls to a lawyer to fix your holiday parenting schedule? Contact Weber Dispute Resolution now, and you can have truly happy holidays without a care. Isn’t that the holiday gift all families wish for?
by Shawn Weber, JD, CLS-F | Oct 14, 2018 | Uncategorized
The deadline to preserve your alimony tax deduction in California before the end of 2018 is fast approaching.
by Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA and Shawn Weber, CLS-F
With the passage of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 (TCJA), the deductibility of alimony or spousal support on federal taxes is set to sunset on December 31, 2018. If you plan to divorce or are in the process of a divorce that will not be completed before the end of 2018, this could cost you a lot of money.
Spousal support used to be deductible under previous law
Under the previous law, spousal support (or alimony) is deductible from income for the support payor and taxable to the support recipient. This let parties save money on Uncle Sam’s dime. Typically, the support payor would be taxed at a higher rate than the support recipient because of the disparity of income. By transferring the tax burden from the support payor to the support recipient, the support payor had higher net spendable income and could afford to pay more. This usually ended up in a win-win circumstance for the parties.
Changes to spousal support deductions under the new 2019 law
Commencing on January 1, 2019, spousal support paid under new orders will not be deductible to the support payor and will not be taxable to the support recipient. This rule will apply to alimony payments required by “divorce or separation instruments” executed after December 31, 2018.
A “divorce or separation instrument” as defined by 26 U.S. Code § 71(b)(2) “means –
(A) a decree of divorce or separate maintenance or a written instrument incident to such a decree,
(B) a written separation agreement, or
(C) a decree (not described in subparagraph (A)) requiring a spouse to make payments for the support or maintenance of the other spouse.”
Example from a higher income case
In negotiations husband and wife had agreed that spousaI support would be set at $12,000 a month. Because husband will be in the combined 46.3% tax bracket post-divorce, the after-tax cost to him will be $6,444. However because wife will be in the combined 34.3% bracket she will net $7,884 after tax. When the new law is in force and husband can no longer deduct his payment it would cost him $1440 more to get her the same amount of spendable money. The differential will be even greater if wife goes ahead with her plan to buy a condo next year and thus receive the deductions for mortgage interest and property taxes.
Of course the reality of divorce is that there is rarely enough money to go around and the result of this change is going to be that payors will end up paying more and payees will end up receiving less.
An additional impact of this change that we believe is not well understood is that because in California the software that calculates child support uses after-tax income as the input number used for income available for support, child support numbers will also be reduced.
Is your divorce grandfathered into the new 2019 rule? Maybe not!
However, a divorce or separation instruments in place before January 1, 2019, but modified after this date, will remain under the current rules allowing for deductibility. They would only be subject to the TCJA, if the modification expressly provides for the TCJA to apply.
What does this mean for people in the midst of a divorce today? To preserve the possibility of the alimony payment tax deduction, you MUST have a divorce instrument entered by a court before the end of 2018.
Your judgment MUST be entered in 2018 to be deductible.
Although it is unclear exactly how the IRS will interpret this rule, we believe it is crucial that the divorce instrument be entered before the end of the year to preserve deductibility forever (or at least until the rule is changed again).
A huge concern is that the courts are very much behind in the processing of judgments of divorce or legal separation. Time is of the essence. If a couple does not have a completed judgment to submit prior to middle of November 2018, there is a very strong likelihood that it will not be accepted by the court in time. Thus, the parties would lose the benefit of deductibility because there divorce or separation instrument would not be enterd before 2019.
Let Weber Dispute Resolution and Pacific Divorce Management help you keep your alimony tax deduction into 2019,
To help parties maximize what they have to spend for themselves and their kids after divorce, Weber Dispute Resolution is teaming up with Pacific Divorce Management to offer an expedited to process.
Pacific Divorce Management, one of the premier advising firms in San Diego for financial issues in divorce, will work with parties to gather financial data to complete the State mandated Declaration of Disclosure Forms.
Weber Dispute Resolution, a leader in divorce mediation and legal dispute resolution, will prepare the necessary forms to open a divorce case and will work hand in glove with Pacific Divorce Management to prepare the necessary divorce or separation instrument necessary to satisfy the IRS requirements for deductibility.
If it is impossible to conclude the entire divorce prior to 2019, the parties could enter into a partial stipulated Judgment for spousal support that would meet the requirements for the alimony deduction. The couple would then have the following options:
- Work with Pacific Divorce Management and Weber Dispute Resolution in an out-of-court alternative dispute resolution setting to complete their divorce or legal separation (for example, mediation or collaborative practice).
- Work with other professionals in an out-of-court alternative dispute resolution setting to complete their case.
- Litigate their divorce or legal separation with other professionals.
Whether you choose to complete your divorce with us or choose to go another way, we want to help all parties involved in a late 2018 divorce be aware of this change, and take advantage of the tax laws for deductibility of spousal support payments before it goes away forever.
Don’t delay – contact us today to save your alimony tax deduction:
Weber Dispute Resolution: 858-410-0144
Pacific Divorce Management: 858-509-2330
by Shawn Weber, JD, CLS-F | Oct 14, 2018 | Uncategorized
The deadline to preserve your alimony tax deduction in California before the end of 2018 is fast approaching.
by Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA and Shawn Weber, CLS-F
With the passage of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 (TCJA), the deductibility of alimony or spousal support on federal taxes is set to sunset on December 31, 2018. If you plan to divorce or are in the process of a divorce that will not be completed before the end of 2018, this could cost you a lot of money.
Spousal support used to be deductible under previous law
Under the previous law, spousal support (or alimony) is deductible from income for the support payor and taxable to the support recipient. This let parties save money on Uncle Sam’s dime. Typically, the support payor would be taxed at a higher rate than the support recipient because of the disparity of income. By transferring the tax burden from the support payor to the support recipient, the support payor had higher net spendable income and could afford to pay more. This usually ended up in a win-win circumstance for the parties.
Changes to spousal support deductions under the new 2019 law
Commencing on January 1, 2019, spousal support paid under new orders will not be deductible to the support payor and will not be taxable to the support recipient. This rule will apply to alimony payments required by “divorce or separation instruments” executed after December 31, 2018.
A “divorce or separation instrument” as defined by 26 U.S. Code § 71(b)(2) “means –
(A) a decree of divorce or separate maintenance or a written instrument incident to such a decree,
(B) a written separation agreement, or
(C) a decree (not described in subparagraph (A)) requiring a spouse to make payments for the support or maintenance of the other spouse.”
Example from a higher income case
In negotiations husband and wife had agreed that spousaI support would be set at $12,000 a month. Because husband will be in the combined 46.3% tax bracket post-divorce, the after-tax cost to him will be $6,444. However because wife will be in the combined 34.3% bracket she will net $7,884 after tax. When the new law is in force and husband can no longer deduct his payment it would cost him $1440 more to get her the same amount of spendable money. The differential will be even greater if wife goes ahead with her plan to buy a condo next year and thus receive the deductions for mortgage interest and property taxes.
Of course the reality of divorce is that there is rarely enough money to go around and the result of this change is going to be that payors will end up paying more and payees will end up receiving less.
An additional impact of this change that we believe is not well understood is that because in California the software that calculates child support uses after-tax income as the input number used for income available for support, child support numbers will also be reduced.
Is your divorce grandfathered into the new 2019 rule? Maybe not!
However, a divorce or separation instruments in place before January 1, 2019, but modified after this date, will remain under the current rules allowing for deductibility. They would only be subject to the TCJA, if the modification expressly provides for the TCJA to apply.
What does this mean for people in the midst of a divorce today? To preserve the possibility of the alimony payment tax deduction, you MUST have a divorce instrument entered by a court before the end of 2018.
Your judgment MUST be entered in 2018 to be deductible.
Although it is unclear exactly how the IRS will interpret this rule, we believe it is crucial that the divorce instrument be entered before the end of the year to preserve deductibility forever (or at least until the rule is changed again).
A huge concern is that the courts are very much behind in the processing of judgments of divorce or legal separation. Time is of the essence. If a couple does not have a completed judgment to submit prior to middle of November 2018, there is a very strong likelihood that it will not be accepted by the court in time. Thus, the parties would lose the benefit of deductibility because there divorce or separation instrument would not be enterd before 2019.
Let Weber Dispute Resolution and Pacific Divorce Management help you keep your alimony tax deduction into 2019,
To help parties maximize what they have to spend for themselves and their kids after divorce, Weber Dispute Resolution is teaming up with Pacific Divorce Management to offer an expedited to process.
Pacific Divorce Management, one of the premier advising firms in San Diego for financial issues in divorce, will work with parties to gather financial data to complete the State mandated Declaration of Disclosure Forms.
Weber Dispute Resolution, a leader in divorce mediation and legal dispute resolution, will prepare the necessary forms to open a divorce case and will work hand in glove with Pacific Divorce Management to prepare the necessary divorce or separation instrument necessary to satisfy the IRS requirements for deductibility.
If it is impossible to conclude the entire divorce prior to 2019, the parties could enter into a partial stipulated Judgment for spousal support that would meet the requirements for the alimony deduction. The couple would then have the following options:
- Work with Pacific Divorce Management and Weber Dispute Resolution in an out-of-court alternative dispute resolution setting to complete their divorce or legal separation (for example, mediation or collaborative practice).
- Work with other professionals in an out-of-court alternative dispute resolution setting to complete their case.
- Litigate their divorce or legal separation with other professionals.
Whether you choose to complete your divorce with us or choose to go another way, we want to help all parties involved in a late 2018 divorce be aware of this change, and take advantage of the tax laws for deductibility of spousal support payments before it goes away forever.
Don’t delay – contact us today to save your alimony tax deduction:
Weber Dispute Resolution: 858-410-0144
Pacific Divorce Management: 858-509-2330
