Archive for April 2011

No more divorce by text message in Tajikistan

Divorce by text message banned in Tajikistan

So it’s official. Time Magazine’s Hillary Brenhouse reports that folks living in Tajikistan can no longer divorce their spouse by text message. Apparently, in old Sunni Islam tradition, you can divorce your spouse by delivering the “triple talaq“.  Just deliver the phrase, “I divorce you,” to your estranged spouse and “POOF” you have a divorce.  (I note that only men get to employ this convenient method for divorce.)  In spite of its utility and simplicity, it has been outlawed in many of the majority islamic country’s including Turkey, Tunisia, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Indonesia.  In India, according to Brenhouse, a “triple talaq” won’t get a person very far unless it also accompanies arbitration and reconciliation.

Now in the digital age, it seems, Tajik men have been delivering their talaqs via text message.   Sensing that the divorce by text message is just too easy, Abdrakhim Kholikov, the head of the Tajik state religious affairs committee, has declared that sending text messages containing a triple talaq is a  breach of Islamic law.  Sigh… no more divorce by text message.

Read the article here:

‘We R Over’: Tajikistan’s Religious Officials Ban Divorce By Text Message – TIME NewsFeed.

Klingon Divorce Better?

The triple talaq reminds me of the Klingon Divorce video I posted from Youtube last month.  If divorce were this easy, I would need to find a new line of work.

Click here to learn more about how Brave, Weber & Mack can help you if your divorce process is more complicated than a simple text message or a slap to the face.

Collaborative Divorce: A Safe Place

Collaborative Divorce is a new way to divorce without going to court.

In a Collaborative Divorce, the parties and lawyers agree that they will not go to court.  If any party chooses court, the attorneys fall out of the process.  Additionally, parties often add mental health professionals and financial specialists to work as part of the Collaborative team.

In a Collaborative Divorce, the parties are in control of the process of the divorce.  Rather than handing their lives over to a judge, the parties make tough choices about alimony, parenting, property division, and child support.  The process is safe, dignified, empowering, supportive and mutually respectful.  It’s also a great way to keep kids’ needs in perspective.

I am happy when I can see a family transition without the rancor of court.  Collaborative Practice increases the ability for the couple to truly have a good experience. What’s more, parties find creative ways with the utmost professional support.  I am a big believer in it!

Here is a great video produced by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.  The producers interviewed actual clients and professionals.  So, it does a superb job of showing how the collaborative process works.  Check it out!

Collaborative Divorce: A Safe Place.

See Also:

Collaborative Practice

Why I absolutely love Collaborative Practice for Resolving Divorce Cases.


Top Nine Collaborative Divorce Tips for Success


YouTube – Couple Saw House In Half

I have seen some creative ways of dividing community property.  This couple in Cambodia, however, takes the notion of splitting the community property real estate to a whole new extreme.  Perhaps San Diego judges could order a house sawing for some of my Rancho Santa Fe clients.  That would, I think, encourage more settlement. What do you think?


Reuters: Parents of twins slightly more likely to divorce

Parents of twins more likely to divorceReuters Health reported on March 30 that parents of twins may be “slightly more likely to get divorced than parents without twins, according to a new study.”

As a parent of twins myself, I can see how that could be.  My wife and I have five children, the youngest twin girls.  While we are lucky to have a strong marriage, the stress that we endured when the girls were small was pronounced.  It certainly took some effort to continue to focus on our relationship.  It could have been very easy to focus all of our energy on the twins at the expense of our marriage.

The financial pressures of twin births is real too.  I can vouch that double diaper and baby wipe purchases are a real hit to the monthly budget.  However, I can also testify as do many other parents of multiples that I know, that having twins is incredibly enriching and adds to a person’s capacity to love.

Finally, I note that the study discussed in the Reuters article only uncovered a 1% greater likelihood in divorce rates between parents with singletons as the first child as opposed to twins as the first birth in the family.  Honestly, that seems rather insignificant and could simply be a rounding error.  However, as I am no statistician, I will defer to the scientists who noticed the trend.

The moral of the story seems to be that parents of twins simply need to be more aware of the risk.  Having twins is certainly not a sentence for inevitable divorce, but it is a risk factor that makes one take note and take preventative measures.  I would be very interested in any studies relating to co-parenting in families with twins.

Do you know anyone who had twins and got divorced?  Comment and let me know!

Here is a link to the article from Reuters:  Divorce News.

Click here for more information about Brave, Weber and Mack: Family Law, Mediation and Collaborative Divorce.

Divorced dads: Remaining close to the children –

Below is a link to an interesting article from the Chicago Tribune with some excellent tips on how to preserve relationships between parents and children after a divorce.  All too often, the parent-child relationship is badly damaged during the divorce process– especially the relationship between the chidlren and the non-custodial parent.  However, it doesn’t need to be that way.  This article has some great tips.

Divorced dads: Remaining close to the children –

I would love to here your ideas.  What do you think are some ways to preserve the relationships between non-custodial parents and children after a divorce.  I really want to hear from you. Please give me your ideas and suggestions in the comments section below.

JK Divorce Entrance Dance

Ok, we have all seen the wedding dance.  It went viral on youtube a year or so ago. Well, have you ever seen their divorce?