Divorced parents spending holidays together for the kids’ sake raises a lot of tough questions. The holiday season, often hailed as the most wonderful time of the year, can become a source of stress for divorced parents. It’s a period steeped in family traditions and gatherings, which can serve as poignant reminders for those who have undergone a divorce. As parents, ensuring the best holiday experience for your children becomes a priority, but this can pose a challenge when you’re no longer together.

Approaching the approaching holiday season, divorced parents often grapple with the decision of whether to spend holidays together for the sake of their children. While this dilemma presents various advantages and disadvantages, the ultimate consideration revolves around the well-being of the family, particularly the children. In this post, we’ll explore these aspects and offer valuable tips for divorced parents navigating the holiday season.

Pros of Spending Holidays Together:

  1. Creating Stability: Spending the holidays together can provide a sense of stability and continuity for children. Amidst the upheaval of divorce, maintaining routines becomes crucial for children’s well-being. Coming together for holidays can offer a familiar environment and reassure children that despite the separation, they’re still part of a family.
  2. Shared Positive Memories: Celebrating holidays together fosters shared memories. Accordingly, these moments become cherished by children, serving as a lasting connection to happy times spent with both parents. Such shared experiences contribute positively to a child’s emotional well-being.
  3. Stress Alleviation for Children: Uniting for celebrations can lessen stress for children navigating post-divorce life. Dividing time between two households during the holidays can be emotionally burdensome. Celebrating together can provide a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for the kids.

Cons of Spending Holidays Together:

  1. Potential Conflict: A major concern revolves around the potential for conflict between ex-spouses. Lingering tensions and unresolved issues from the divorce can surface during holiday gatherings, negatively impacting the children’s experience.
  2. Logistical Challenges: Practical challenges like distance or financial constraints may hinder spending holidays together. Certainly, geographical separation or differing financial capacities can make joint celebrations unfeasible.
  3. Introducing New Partners: The presence of new partners or spouses can complicate joint celebrations, leading to discomfort or conflict. This situation can make both ex-spouses and new partners feel uneasy, affecting the holiday atmosphere and potentially distressing the children.

Emotional Considerations

Being around an ex-spouse during the emotionally charged holiday season can be taxing. Acknowledging and addressing unresolved emotions is vital for parental well-being, ensuring a more positive environment for everyone involved. Be very mindful of your own state of mind. If you can pull the celebration off without exposing the kids to conflict, then great. If you or your ex can’t spend the holiday together without it turning into a big fight, then think twice.

Tips for Navigating the Holiday Season:

  • Prioritize Children: Keep the focus on the kid’s happiness and well-being during holiday planning.
  • Open Communication: Discuss expectations, boundaries, and plans openly with your ex-spouse to minimize conflicts.
  • Flexibility: Be adaptable to changes and open to compromises to ensure a smoother experience for the children.
  • Self-Care: Remember to take care of your own mental health amidst the busy and potentially stressful holiday period.


Deciding whether to spend holidays together after divorce is complex, with no universal right answer. The decision must revolve around what’s best for your family and children. If choosing to unite for holidays, focus on creating positive memories and open communication. Be flexible, accommodating, and prioritize self-care. By navigating the holiday season thoughtfully, divorced parents can foster a meaningful and joyful experience for everyone involved.

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